


The Epiphany

by MadBanana



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: F/M, First (?) Kiss, Heartbreak, Kidgangst, Kidge - Freeform, Sickfic, Thanks to constant postings on tumblr it made me wanna post this, lots of pining, plance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-29
Updated: 2018-08-29
Packaged: 2019-07-03 22:03:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15827814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MadBanana/pseuds/MadBanana
Summary: epiph•a•ny\i-ˈpi-fə-nē\nouna moment in which you suddenly see or understand something in a new or very clear waySometimes, it's not yet too late to realize who the right person is to give your heart for.Sometimes, it's too late to realize that your heart has been yearning for someone who was about to be taken.Sometimes, even the genius of all geniuses can flunk on a subject matter called love.A Kidgangst sick fic, set after Season 7.





	The Epiphany

**Author's Note:**

> The Mad Banana is BEEEEEEEECK!!!
> 
> I thought of writing a shortie to celebrate ships in Season 7 with a little romance featuring my OT3. It made me decide to write something after throwing random thoughts via Tumblr.
> 
> And... Yeah, I'm a sucker for sick fics with a wee bit of angst. Anyway, little notes:
> 
> 1.) I'm not a native English speaker.
> 
> 2.) The scene took place after Season 7, so you better step out for a while and watch it before reading this one.
> 
> 3.) Finally, as I always say in my fics, ENJOY.

An intense training caused Lance to lose strength. When he passed out, they found out that he was suffering from a very high fever, which they thought was unlikely because he was just fine since a few hours ago. 

The training was cut off because of it. What's important, Keith said, is for everyone to be in top condition once the Galra will attempt to attack Earth again. 

So almost everyone was making sure Lance will recover as fast as possible, starting with Hunk who asked tips from Veronica on what he can eat during fever and what he cannot, taking turns looking after him, and of course, having him take medicine. Coran, at first, insisted that a glass of numvill a day will keep the fever at bay -- good thing Shiro stopped him.

Two days has passed, and Lance's fever is still the same. It was stress that kept him bedridden but that shouldn't be that long.

Pidge was tasked to be his nurse for the second half of the shift when she found out that Lance threw up his food for the third time. Before she could go to his room, she asked for a few tips on how she could made him fed well from none other than Keith, himself, who managed to survive in the shack all alone for the past one year.

"I just manage to stand up and get food for myself," Keith said, a matter-of-factly. "When I feel like I throw up, I just drink water."

"I thought water alone will make it worse" Pidge was confused.

"Works for me."

"Lance might be a mermaid wannabe, but he's still a full human who gets sick and drinking water the whole day will not only build up unnecessary acid in his stomach, it will make his vomit look like water infused with pork fat. Imagining that also makes me want to throw up."

"So what works for you whenever you get sick?" He decided to throw her question back.

It made Pidge think. "As far as I remember, Mom will serve me cut-up apples or bananas when I feel like I throw up. Problem is, Lance hates apples and he's allergic to bananas."

"If bananas helped you way back, maybe you can ask Hunk to come up with something that will taste like one except that they're not. Maybe he has some space fruit seeds that--"

"OMG, that's it!" She stood up and held the half-Galra's hands. "Keith, you're a quiznaking genius!" And Pidge stood up to dash into Hunk's room. "Thanks for the tip!"

She left Keith, blinking within five seconds, before staring at both of his hands held by her. For some reason, as he stretched his fingers, he thought that he wanted to hold her hands again.

*****

By a sheer miracle and Keith's surprise intervention, Lance managed to eat without throwing up, as long as he eats slowly. After an hour, it was time for his sponge bath.

"I really _hate_  that medicine," his face was sour, he could still feel the aftertaste of the medicine given to him an hour after he ate.

"You'll get better with that, trust me," Pidge said, preparing his bath, "and as long as you don't complain much."

"I'm not complaining, I'm exercising my human rights."

"Whatever," she sighed. "Anyway, let's take your shirt off."

Lance obliged as he tried to lift his shirt off but he suddenly felt light-headed and his arms and shoulders screamed in pain that he stopped in the middle. Pidge immediately noticed his sudden silence.

"You okay?" She asked. 

Lance nodded slowly, trying to hide that he's not okay. Sadly, he picked the wrong person to lie with.

"Good thing Veronica brought me button-downs in these cases," she said as she kneeled beside his bed, lifting the bottom hem of his shirt up. "I'll help you. Try to raise your arms just slowly."

Lance didn't nod, but he slowly raised both arms slowly as his reply, allowing her to lift his shirt up, revealing a surprisingly lean, toned body that he acquired after years in space. His skin glistened in sweat, and blushing patches in cheeks, shoulders and chest were visible to her eye. Pidge started to dampen the cloth in a basin of water before starting to wipe his back.

Pidge had known Lance for a while now, and she knows that he's the type who gets whiny and complains a lot when he gets sick. But this time, he was just quiet, probably because his high fever is no joke. Lance is predictable ninety percent at a time, but she felt the ten percent of it for the first time.

She couldn't read anything in his face, something that, oddly, she missed about him.

"Just tell me if you feel anything," Pidge reminded him, while Lance uttered a soft, almost inaudible 'Okay' which worries her. 

"How about a little massage after this?" She offered, cheeks starting to turn pink since she never offered that kind of service to a friend. "You seem... In pain. J-just talk like the usual."

"Sounds good," Lance whispered again, voice croaking.

After a refreshing sponge bath, Pidge went out for a minute to get something from her first aid kit: a scented oil which is good for period cramps (and Lance, ironically, recommended it when she had terrible periods) which, she thought, will also be good for muscle pains. She took two to four drops of oil in her palms, rubbed her hands briskly before starting to work on his shoulders.

Lance finds it soothing, especially that it has been three months since their return to Earth and all spas that he knew are still closed because of the Galra attacks. But at the same time, he finds it awkward. Here's this girl who doesn't get bothered touching a boy's skin while he, himself, was about to explode in embarassment. In that sense, surprisingly, Lance is still a virgin.

Also, he finds it strange that instead of imagining the girl of his dreams massaging him, he couldn't think at all and instead, sees Katie Holt and no one else.

Around five to ten minutes later, Pidge shifted herself to Lance's right, pour another few drops of oil in her palms, rubbed it and this time, worked on his chest. The moment she kneaded his right chest, the young Cuban bit his lip in pain.

"As I thought," she guessed. "Too much rifle training strained both your upper arms, back and chest to the point that it triggered your temperature. Still trying to impress Allura after switching to a sword? That's honestly remarkable, you even made Keith fight you seriously in the simulator!"

But to her surprise, Lance was just quiet. He wasn't in his whiny self even when he's sick. And being a good observer as she is, it was probably because she mentioned Allura which, for that reason, her heart ached.

"So," she still tried to talk to Lance amid the pain, while Lance was trying to endure body pain from the massage, "still pushing to get her attention, huh--"

"Allura talked to me," Lance finally opened his mouth, "three days ago."

She blinked when he finally talked. "W-what about it?"

"Guess what," he sighed, "she already knew how I really feel. I shouldn't have talked to the mice... But anyway...

After that, I've just marked my 100th rejection."

Pidge stopped massaging him.

Lance have tried to persuade a hundred women during his years in the Garrison, but of all those rejections, Allura's rejection hit him harder that made him realize that he and the Altean princess are nothing but friends and comrades at arms, which he fully respected. Allura's heartbreak was still fresh like yesterday and of course, he doesn't want to force himself to her after that -- only to be rejected like the usual. 

Pidge noticed his face -- skin so clear, yet painful to see the rejection smacked in his face, yet he wasn't crying nor goofing off. It was a face that she never seen before in Lance. It was a face that, for the first time, she couldn't read at all.

She didn't realize her own face heating up after slowly realized how beautiful Lance is.

"S-so," Pidge turned her eyes away, "what will you do now?"

"Hm, good question," Lance curbed his lip. "No idea. But I've been thinking if I start paying attention to my surroundings, who knows..."

He looked at Pidge, brown eyes to blue, both cheeks blushing. As much as one of them wants to look away, it was like magnet when they didn't faze away, they just looked at each other.

"Maybe there's someone out there who's been looking for me all this time that I failed to notice it."

Pidge wanted to breathe, scream, shout 'time out!' but she was fully mesmerized by Lance's gaze -- something that, ever since, she prayed to see. Yet, in those years of being together, she wasn't sure anymore if this was just part of his drama or he's damn serious.

She was so confused that she wanted to cry. But to her surprise and added confusion, his blue eyes started to tear up first. It was either his bodyache won, or the pain of last rejection. 

"Lance?" She was about to wipe his tears, but he stopped her and wiped them himself with his blanket.

"Sorry," he made a deep sigh. "Guess I overworked too hard. N-not to be redundant, but..."

That was just half of it, the other half is because of the heartache. Pidge could finally predict Lance's emotions after a few minutes being so quiet about it.

"You  _really_  love her," Pidge guessed, "don't you?"

Hearing that part made Lance's heart squeezed tight that his eyes were in tears again. "Yeah, but," he tried to talk normally, "I can't force her. After what she went through, and knowing that her people needs her... I... I can't just be part of her life like... I dunno..."

Pidge could tell that he has been trying to be strong in anything, and knowing Lance, he surely knows how to handle rejections... Except with Allura, since they have been together defending the universe for three decaphoebes. She could tell by how he holds her arm and his blanket -- so tight he could rip it, and how he was shaking.

"Just between you and me," he tried to sound audible, "but I hate this feeling... I don't wanna go through this again... If only..."

He began to sob.

"If only I've met you as a girl -- no," he shook his head, "I wish... I wish it should be you... At least it won't be as painful as this is if ever you'll leave me -- no! That'll be worse," he looked at Pidge. "It should have been you from the start!"

She doesn't know what she would say after hearing those surprising revelations from him. This some kind of realization can make someone laugh. Pidge should have laughed about it, but then...

Those tears, those sobs were real. So real she was also tearing up out of admiration to Lance being a strong character. 

It made her realize how she liked him the first time they met.

Pidge didn't notice her own cheeks and eyes burning, and even her hand holding his tightly, trying to formulate good words to comfort him. But then she figured this is different than formulating an equation to a math problem.

"Lance, listen," she tried to talk, "I'm not good in this... But you're maybe right on that point. There's... Someone out there who's been trying to reach you for quite a while now... But she can't because she knows that you're... Not looking for those types... I mean, yeah, you've been chasing girls for a while without realizing that there's someone out there been... Having a liking to you in secret, who knows--"

"You're talking about yourself, don't you?"

She paused in surprise.

Lance tried to smile as he leaned to his bed's headboard, calming his head as he could feel his whole world spinning. Sighing, he bit his lip, trying not to cry again but the feelings were overwhelming he wanted to wail in anger.

"That's what I'm saying," he tried to straighten up his sentence. "I should've... I should have notice it sooner rather than being punched in the gut like this... I'm trying to be--"

She touched his face, calming him.

It was unexpected for Pidge to be this caring. He knows how she involves herself in situations like this, but this time, the sincerity is present. Maybe because his guess was right that she has been watching him in secret ever since their first meeting at the Garrison.

All this time, Pidge is in love with Lance, while the latter has not noticed it at all. 

She wasn't angry, nor pitying him. She secretly admired how he had grown for the past three years and all she could do is to watch him in the distance. Now that they're closer and Lance finally admitted how he got hurt to Allura's decision, somehow it gave her freedom to tell him everything. But instead of talking, she ran her fingers to his cheeks, feeling the surprising softness of his skin. For the first time -- maybe -- Lance let her, gazing at her big brown eyes meeting blue as she trailed her fingers to his chest.

He rose a bit as he grabbed her hand, Pidge's face was a red mess. He proactively went closer to her and gave her the warmest hug he could give her.

"H-hey," Pidge wanted to push him but she couldn't, "I don't wanna get sick--!"

"You deserve it after not telling me," Lance jokingly accused her of hiding from the start. "So once I get out of this bed, I'm going to take care of you."

Her face were as red as his. Maybe, she thought, there's nothing wrong in catching one's fever -- if that is actually contageous and he has a cold. But the fever warmth coming from his body was soothing enough...

Plus, with someone who has not taken a full bath since two days ago, he smelled really decent and musky, which reminded her of the beach. Strangely, she likes the smell. She didn't realize her own arms extending to hug him in return.

When they were about to let go of each other, their faces became closer again. Lance stared at Pidge's freckled, peach-tinted face slowly turned red as a realization finally hits her big time that Lance was, really, beautiful. There are several occasions where their faces became closer, but not to this extent where realizations hit like a good straight punch in the face. 

Lance knew it. He only realized today how Pidge has been crushing on him ever since. He wanted to give her something in return, something not too pricey or anything related to that. Something both of them will never forget -- and somehow, Pidge could guess his thoughts.

She closed her eyes, letting Lance give her that reward.

Both didn't realize that the door was open and Keith just came to take Pidge's turn. As he was about to enter the room, his own eyes saw Lance and Pidge -- kissed for the first time in years. 

His whole being froze.

He was just standing at the door, watching them sharing a chaste kiss, while his hopes are starting to shut down. He didn't even bother calling their attention. He just watched them while letting his heart break.

Half of him seems happy that Lance finally is about to get his 'happy ending,' and half of him wished that he could share his life with the girl who was, back then, in the same predicament as him when they both lost the people they love. Keith thought he could finally let Pidge know how he felt all this time...

Only to realize, from the time he left the team to join the Blade of Marmora, to the time they finally saved Earth, he actually never had a chance to tell her.

Keith didn't bother coming in. Instead, he quietly left to go back to his room.

*****

He never felt tired before, but Keith just wants to sleep, which is not so typical for someone with high levels of energy when it comes to anything. When he hit his room, to his surprise, Kosmo, the space wolf, was there, playing with the mice, which is a sweet sight. They even thought they shouldn't be in his room.

"S-sorry if I startled you," he apologized to the dog and the mice. "Go on, pretend that I don't exist," he even joked.

The furry friends looked at each other.

Keith flopped himself to bed without even taking off his Garrison uniform. He never felt dead tired before to the point that taking his clothes off will be a painful chore. Maybe because of what he just saw a few minutes ago...

It was strangely painful that it zapped his remaining energy to move.

Kosmo sensed his master's sadness that he gently poked his nose on Keith's right leg before resting his snout on his master's lap, trying to sense that there is something wrong. Even the mice sensed it. Keith couldn't help but to get up a bit and pet the dog's head while Plachu crawled on his shoulder, squeaking, maybe trying to ask what is wrong.

"Nothing's wrong," he assured them. "I'm just... tired."

But sometimes, animals could feel what is wrong to their masters that they will not let him go for comfort, and a cosmic wolf is no exemption. Kosmo kept on nudging his face to Keith's lap, telling him something to make him open up.

"Fine," the half-Galra sighed. "Well... How would I," he sighed again, this time, painfully, "ugh, I'm not good at this--!"

However, saying those words out loud has just broke his heart.

"I'm really," he bit his lip, "not good at talking to people... Am I? Let alone a dog and four mice..."

Kosmo could feel the vibration in his master's body that he raised one paw to reach his shaking hand. The three other mice sat on his other lap.

"You know the feeling that you wanna tell something to that person how much you feel," he began, "to the point that you let it pass and then you realized... You're too late?"

His voice was croaking.

"Granted that you're trying to fit in, make friends, then you met this person with the same issue as you do... You even tried to stop her from leaving... And then there I was, leaving the team thinking that I'm looking for someplace I'm fit to be... I'm a hypocrite, huh?"

He tried not to be too emotional about it. It was already a thing in the past, but he couldn't help but to remember, especially when he realized how a freaking hypocrite he really is, or so he thought. He is starting to shake again, and his animal friends are helping him control himself. Yet...

"Why can't I tell her...?" he whimpered. "I can't tell her how I feel anymore... She's..."

Keith didn't notice his eyes getting too wet that tears are starting to fall from them. The space dog was alarmed to see his master sad that he licked his tear-soaked cheeks. Meanwhile the mice are, strangely, crying for him, too.

It was such a lovely gesture that Keith finally gave in and started to sob.

He was supposed to be a strong leader who is taking Shiro's footsteps as the new leader of Voltron, showing his capabilities to lead them to defend the universe. But in these quiet times, Keith admitted, he couldn't defend himself from emotional turmoil regarding someone he tried to reach all these years and ended up with someone else who he even thought deserves better.

But right now, all he could do is to cry in his sleep, and Kosmo and the mice watching and comforting him.

**Author's Note:**

> Art of this story is available via my Voltron sideblog. Anyway, :'(
> 
> Find me at:  
> MAIN: http://banana-con-baliw.tumblr.com  
> VOLTRON SIDEBLOG: http://bananatron.tumblr.com


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